the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize