Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
