so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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