What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
