I think I am morally bankrupt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
