I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
