FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she peed on how many people?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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