How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
