come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
