Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
