im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
