Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
