So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
