my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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