So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
