There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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