You smell like stripper and shame
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
