I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
