stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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