he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
