she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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