um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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