Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
foreskin is a definite game changer
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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