Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize