Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
