Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
