and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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