Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
