Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
