just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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