So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's never too late to be topless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
