He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
