Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
