So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
