Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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