Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
