i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
