You're my little dorito
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
