she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
