I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize