Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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