Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
