Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize