That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
