He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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