He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
