is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
