Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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