We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You are a genius and a whore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
