You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
