hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
