Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
