Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So much rum. So many feels.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
