The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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