I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
