Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
