My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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Nobody cheats on THIS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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