I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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