He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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