she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
