She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Vodka?
Forever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
