I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
