If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize