Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
