maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
