I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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