whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
