He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
