Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
