i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
