Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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