i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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