I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
