4 words: hood of his car
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
