Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
