Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
