i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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