I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is my gift to your gina
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize