where am i from again
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
