You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Operation Purity has been aborted
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
