Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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