I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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