I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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