We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
