Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize