apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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