it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
