I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
